Last semester, I had an evil professor!
So…
Today, I was sitting in one of my classes and noticed several older, unknown peoples scattered throughout the room keenly observing my professor’s lecture, which covered things related to authoritarian regimes, and I was like ‘wow how magical.’
Suddenly, from a few seats behind me I heard a terrifying voice! I looked back! And it was the evil professor from last semester! I got scared and bolted from the room. I was running about 3mph, which is acceptable because I am out of shape.
According to wiki answers, 3mph is the average speed for walking. Also, if I’ve learned anything from my extensive education thus far, Wikipedia is not a reliable source. Therefore, I am not prepared to sacrifice my life on the truthfulness of that “fact.” Here’s my cited source:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_average_running_speed_of_a_man
After visiting that link, I wasn’t sure if the question/answer was gender specific, or if the word “man” was supposed to encompass the entire human species. So, I went here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_average_running_speed_of_a_woman
It didn’t really answer my question because I’m from America. That means I don’t understand kilometers. Let’s forget about it and return to my original story.
I was half dead as I ran across campus to get away from the evil professor. I almost collapsed once or twice! Then, from the distance I spotted something remarkable standing on the green. It was Barack Hussein Obama! I was like ‘wtf? Why are you here at --------- University, where I spend my days, nights, and weekends except holidays?’ (This is not true, I’m usually at home. But the average human’s thought process is not always 100% accurate, especially in times of great emotional overabundance).
I got closer and prepared to grovel before the great leader of these United States, when I realized it was just some guy who looked like Obama. Then the evil professor from last semester walked up next to me and was like “What the hell are you doing, Gina? Get back to class.” I was like ‘whatever. You’re not the boss of me.’ I went back to class anyway because I’m afraid of the evil professor from last semester.
I’m too afraid to actually explain what happened with the evil professor from last semester, just in case they ever see this blog! Which is highly unlikely, but you can never be too sure when it comes to evil people.
Things that actually happened today:
- I saw the evil professor from last semester in one of my classes
- I learned about authoritarian regimes
- I am out of shape
- I saw Obama's clone, but I don't remember where
3 comments:
You should go join a Gym.
You can run faster.
What did this evil professor do?
I laughed at the thought of you actually researching the actual speed of a girl walking, cute story...and Can we have a hint of what the scary teacher did wrong?
Post a Comment